Most of our energy goes into upholding our importance. If we were capable of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves with enough energy to catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the Universe. Carlos Castaneda
As I reflect on the last few years and now understand what it means to go the thru the dark night of the soul. The shit that I was called on and had to let go to come to a new place brought me to a place of dropping the illusion of being “Happy”. What was under it all was unexpressed anger and rage. As a little girl of three years old when her hero, her dad died tragically. I couldn’t express the sadness, I didn’t know how. Over 50 years later during the process of my divorce, once again feeling abandoned I could no longer pretend that everything was alright. I let it out finally, in the despair of the heart ache and the depression of yet another loss I could start getting a glimpse of understanding the bigger picture. I let go of the anger and it is now replaced with a deeper sense of empathy and compassion for that three-year-old little girl, my mom, dad and my ex. Here is to a new year, a new me, and looking forward to seeing what will unfold.